


Wonderwall

by SilverSpoon6609



Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:20:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1928136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSpoon6609/pseuds/SilverSpoon6609
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth has never really known where she belonged or wanted to be. Sometimes you find it's where you'd least expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pinch Me

Beth had never really pictured herself being a college person. But then of course, she had never really pictured herself as anything. In her head she was always at the farm, helping her daddy with his practice. Tending to the animals, the garden, her family. Her hopes and desires had never really taken off to some far away fairy tale land. She never had some grand scheme to meet her prince charming, no plans for bigger and better things. She had never imagined moving to the city with her sister, but now here she was moving into Maggie's mostly empty third floor apartment and signing up for classes at the local community college. Leaving her home hadn't really been a decision, it had just kinda happened and Beth went along with it. Just like everything else in her life.

She had never made the decision to wait on college, but the date for applications slipped by when she was going down to the coffee shop and singing at every open mic they had. She had never really meant to go steady with Jimmy, but he kept calling and it just kinda fell into place. She hadn't had some idealistic version of her first love so she let it be Jimmy. He was good, brought her out on dates, bought her tickets to the dances she didn't care about going to, snuck her into his room when his parents weren't home. After graduation he gave her a promise ring and got a job. He never came to hear her sing. She didn't mean to not care. She hadn't meant to break up with him either, she still wasn't sure how that happened. Something at some party that she hadn't gone to or something like that. So when Maggie found out and called to tell her she was moving into the downstairs apartment with Glenn and the third floor of his house would be open, Beth packed up her room, emptied her savings account and asked her father to help her move. He said yes, and if she took at least two classes he would pay the rent. She registered online before the car was packed.

There had been a playlist she had made for moving day but for some reason all the songs about new beginnings didn't feel as good as they had two days ago. She wasn't a Freebird. She didn't have Georgia on her mind. All she had was two and a half rooms full of boxes of stuff that meant nothing to her and a blank slate she wasn't sure she wanted. The idea of cramming all of these old things into her new life left her feeling beat down and overwhelmed. She finally settled on shoving the box of pictures and scrapbooks under the bed before getting in the shower. It was one of those ones with only one knob, the water was too hot and the pressure was awful. The paint on the ceiling was peeling.

Maggie had been in and out of the apartment all day under the guise of being helpful. Really she was just moving boxes from one corner to another and sending Glenn up and down the stairs with the rest of her things while trying to convince Beth to go out with them that night.

"You can't just stay at home all alone and expect to like it here. Come to Rick's, you met him last time you visited. There's always a bunch of people." Maggie was putting away everything in the medicine cabinet and talking over the shower spray.

"Everyone's gonna be older than me."

"Beth, it's not like you're twelve. You'll be twenty-one next month."

She turned the water off and reached for a towel. "Alright, but you have to come over again tomorrow and help me finish here."

"Deal. Get ready, meet you downstairs in an hour."

As soon as her sister left, Beth set about barely doing her hair and makeup and throwing on the first acceptable clean outfit she came across. Maybe this move was what she needed to wake her up out of the foggy dream that her life had become. She kept telling herself that it was the push she needed as she locked her new front door and skipped a little out to the sidewalk.


	2. Waiting For My Ruca

It was close enough to walk to Rick's. Beth had been there once before, when Maggie had just moved into the city. The house was a beautiful old Victorian that had been a functioning brothel at some point, Rick bought it when his parents died and rented out the rooms to whoever he could find. There was no way working as a security guard could pay the mortgage, especially when child support factored in. That was how he and Glenn had met. Beth had heard the story several times, how Glenn delivered a pizza one night and then moved in the next day. There had been a party there the last time Beth was in town, but she had been staying at the hotel with her parents.

They walked in to the house and it was nothing like Beth had pictured. There weren't frat boys in togas funneling beer, there weren't people making out on every surface. She had never really been to a house party. When they walked in the door Rick greeted them, a bear skin smiled eerily at them from where it hung on the railing. Beth looked around and into the few rooms she could see from the entry way. The house itself was beautiful, the architecture and restoration were works of art and love. There was an organ built into the wall of the parlor and every room Beth could see had a fireplace. There were tin ceilings and a story for the bullet hole in the study. The mounted buck in the dining room wore a propeller hat and the small mouth bass had a cigar. The French doors to the living room did little to stop the smell of smoke from spreading throughout the house. Beth could see a few people passing a joint around.

She heard a familiar song as they passed a sitting room and cringed at the off beat singing. There were a few people trying to keep John Popper's tempo and failing while one guitar filled the room with effortless sound. Beth didn't mean to make eye contact with the guy playing guitar but he smirked at her grimace as he finished playing. "I ain't playin' that Dave Matthews song so gimme something else." The voice was deeper than she expected and she found herself wondering what his eyes looked like while he talked. She followed Maggie to the kitchen for drink.

"Who's that playing guitar?" Beth asked as she took a sip of her beer.

"Probably Daryl." Glenn handed Maggie a cup, "He's always playing something. You'd should go sing, I don't think he'd mind you cutting in."

She made her way back to the sitting room with Glenn and Maggie in tow. He was strumming that Eagle Eye Cherry song and when he got to the chorus Glenn started singing some old hip hop song. They traded a few verses back and forth before Glenn tripped up and started laughing.

"Daryl, this is Beth, Maggie's sister."

He nodded, " 'lo," and then looked right back down at the guitar.

"She sings pretty good." Maggie said as she flopped into the only empty chair. "You should play something."

"Don't know any Taylor Swift." He downed the rest of his beer, "None of that One Direction shit either."

His blue eyes drilled into her, she couldn't tell what he wanted. Beth tilted her cup back and then met his stare. "Neither do I." It felt like a challenge but she wasn't sure why.

Daryl chewed on the inside of his lip before strumming a few random chords and then starting out on a riff Beth recognized right off the bat. She settled in to the notes he played. "Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner…" She wasn't sure when she realized he was watching only her, his eyes didn't flick around the room, they didn't close or look down to make sure his hands were doing what they should. She didn't mind. They did a few songs, he never sang more than a line or two if she was missing a lyric but his voice was embedded in her head. It was gritty and lower than she was used to hearing. It was a voice that had lived.

Daryl put the guitar down and stood, he was taller than she had thought, she didn't miss the way his pants hung just a little too low or the way he tugged down the worn flannel shirt even though it had hardly crept up. "Gonna get a beer."

"I need one too." She followed him to the kitchen watching the way he walked, his slightly uneven footsteps were silent despite his boots. He stayed close to the walls. Beth scolded herself for wondering what he wore under his faded jeans.

He kept his distance in the small kitchen, instead of handing her drink back to her he left it on the table. Daryl leaned back against the refrigerator across from where she sat at the table. "Where'd you learn to play?"

Beth didn't miss how he looked down at his feet when he answered. "Had an old concert VHS. Watched it till the tape started draggin', found stuff online when that got easier to do." He cleared his throat, "How about you?"

"Church I guess? I dunno, I've been singing as long as I can remember."

She couldn't take her eyes off him as he chewed on his thumbnail.

"You sound good." HIs voice was softer now.

She felt a blush creep onto her cheeks and a smile spread. "Thanks, you do too. You're really good, Daryl."

He blew a quick breath out of his nose and pushed off the fridge, "Come on, I got time for a couple more."

Beth could feel her sister's eyes on her when they sat back down across from each other. Daryl didn't give her time to worry about it though, he started drumming out a beat on the body of the guitar. Glenn laughed when he recognized the song. Daryl started it off, "On the east side, that's where I met my Ramona…" By the third line everyone was singing.

Daryl looked down at his watch, "Gotta go." He finished his drink then stood and started shoving his guitar in it's case.

Beth looked at Maggie, "I think I'm gonna head out too. I'm beat from today."

"Alright, "Maggie nodded, "Daryl'll walk you home, it's on the way."

He chewed on his lip as he nodded, "You in Maggie's old place?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go then." He slung his guitar onto his back and walked out of the room.

Beth let her goodbyes linger with promises to come down for coffee in the morning and to be sure she locked her door when she got home.

"We gotta go, Beth!" Daryl called as he stepped outside. She caught up to him on the porch steps. He looked back and adjusted his gait to match her speed as they walked under the street lights. "How'd you know all those songs? You're too young for most of 'em."

"Two older siblings, Maggie always had the radio on and Shawn was in a band. I pick up stuff pretty quick." She glanced up at him, "How old do you think I am?"

He cleared his throat and kicked at a weed coming up through the cement, "I dunno, ain't supposed to ask that."

She smiled, "I'll be twenty-one next month. What about you?"

"Twenty-nine." He glanced down at his watch under one of the lights. "Come on then, 'M running late." He didn't say anything else until she had her key in the door.

"G'night."

"Thanks for walking me, I had fun tonight." She looked back and saw him still standing there with his hands in his pockets. "It's open, you can go, I'm alright."

"Imma wait till you put on a light." He chewed his lip as he watched her go in.

Beth hurried up the stairs and into her small living room. She stood back from the window, hidden in the shadows and looked down at him. Daryl stood watching the building, waiting for her. She let his image seep into her memory. The way he stood, his back straight, shoulders hunched down just a bit. She knew the eyes peering out beneath the too long, shaggy hair were bright blue. She memorized his faded clothes and scuffed boots, the way his silhouette was misshapen from the guitar case. Beth sighed and flicked the light switch up. She stood against the window and raised her hand in a wave. Daryl watched her for a moment. She hoped that maybe he was committing the details of her stance to his memory, she cursed herself for not blow drying her slightly frizzy hair. He nodded at her, ducked his head down and headed down the sidewalk.


	3. No Rain

Beth woke up the next morning feeling clearer than she had in months, she got herself up and out of bed, grabbed her headphones and headed out for a run. It was later than she meant to be up but there was energy thrumming through her and she knew she wouldn't be able to sit and eat with Maggie and Glenn until she worked some of it off. There were no thoughts in pacing through her mind as she ran, all she could feel was the slap of her feet on the pavement and the music playing in her ears.

She got back to the house and hardly noticed the beat up pickup truck out front. When Beth burst into the kitchen she tracked a bit of dirt in from her old Converses. Her hair fell wispy around her face and her cheeks were flushed. She pulled up the hem of her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt to wipe the sweat off her forehead and when she looked up met Daryl's smirking eyes. He didn't say anything, but raised his eyebrow at her bared stomach.

"Wasn't expecting to see you so soon." Beth took a drink from her water bottle and toed off her shoes, he was still watching her. "You could take a picture if you want."

His cheeks turned bright red. Daryl huffed and dropped his eyes to the floor. "Sorry."

Beth went to touch his arm but he moved his shoulder back, just out of reach. "I was just ki…"

"Beth!" Maggie came from the hallway, "I was calling you all morning! It's almost noon!"

She snapped her hand back and turned to her sister. "Sorry, I woke up late and went for a run, left my phone upstairs."

Maggie motioned for them to sit down and as they did filled three coffee cups. She automatically put cream and sugar into her's and Beth's and then looked to Daryl.

"Jus' sugar. A little bit."

They sat quietly for a bit until Maggie nearly lost it from the tension in the room. "Daryl brought you a TV."

Beth's eyes snapped to his. "You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged, "Had it just sitting there. Ain't gonna watch two at once."

"Well, thanks."

"Mmhmm."

Beth stood on the sidewalk and watched as Daryl hefted the old television set out of the truck bed. She walked ahead of him and held the doors open. When they got into the apartment she just pointed to a spot on the floor.

"I know it's not new or anything, but it works. You can hook up a DVD player." Daryl stood and looked around. "Place is nice. Bigger than it looks."

"Thanks, it'll be good once I get settled." She sighed, "It's gonna be weird though. Having my own place. I've never really been alone before."

"Livin' by yourself don't mean you're alone." The way he said it made her believe him.

She gave him a smile, "You're right."

She didn't feel awkward having him there. He could see into her bedroom, all the garbage bags with her clothes hanging out. The boxes stacked in the corner and tipped over on their sides with their contents spilling onto the floor. He stood in the middle of her open book life. Daryl could see her high school yearbook, her participation ribbons for being awful at cross country. She watched him look at the stack of framed family photos and watched his eyes drift over her movie collection. She saw the way he shifted away from the bedroom when the rumpled sheets and bra hanging on the door stood out to him. "You need a dresser. Coffee table too." He tapped the futon Shawn gave her with the toe of his boot. "Maybe a chair."

"Yeah, it'd be nice. Have to wait till I have a job though."

Daryl shook his head. "I got some stuff."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm. Go shower, get dressed. I'll wait outside." He moved to go.

"Daryl," He turned back to her, the side of his lip was pulled between his teeth, "You can stay here, I don't mind."

He didn't answer as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

His truck was loud but it ran smooth. Daryl turned up the radio. "Got a hole in the muffler, haven't had time to fix it. More annoying than anything else."

Beth furrowed her brow when they pulled up to a run down brick building. It wasn't the type of place she would've pictured him living in. The front steps had caution tape strung up across the railings. Daryl led her around back and into a musty smelling hallway. He tried one key and when it didn't open the door he used another.

"Gotta clear this place out by the end of the week. If you need anything just take it."

A layer of dust that shifted when they entered was visible floating in the light as Beth looked around. The furniture was nicer than she would've guessed.

"Doesn't look like you live here."

"Nah, 's my brother's place. He's gonna be gone for awhile. Locked up." Daryl looked at her through his hair. He didn't miss how she stiffened up in surprise. His voice had a sharp bite to it when he spoke again. "Selling drugs ain't catchy." His tone dropped lower, "Or genetic." He stalked off into the bedroom leaving her fiddling with the silver ring on her thumb. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there when he called out to her. "Come 'ere and see if you want this dresser."

They left the apartment with a dresser, coffee table, television stand, and kitchen set. Daryl was quiet as he and Glenn carried the things upstairs. Beth ordered a pizza for them when Glenn and Maggie left for dinner with Glenn's family.

"I still think Maggie had you come over so she didn't have to help me." Beth joked as she lined up books on a shelf.

Daryl was bent over hooking up the TV. She watched as he straightened out and tucked his shirt in before reaching to plug everything in. "It ain't like that."

She could tell he was shaking his head even though she couldn't see him.

"Glenn said that the bar on West Main has open mics on Saturday's. Hook's? You ever play there?"

Daryl looked at her like he didn't understand the question. "Nah. Never played for a crowd."

She smiled at him, "We should play together. Think we could get a set together in the next couple weeks?"

He cleared his throat. "Don't know if I'll have a lot of time to practice. Don't you start school?"

"Just two classes. You could just give me some stuff to learn, we can play what you know."

The doorbell rang and before he could answer her Beth was bounding down the stairs to get their dinner. She didn't have plates unpacked yet so they ate off paper towels. Daryl wolfed down his first slice and mumbled a quick, "Alright, I guess," in between licking sauce off his finger.


	4. Everlong

Daryl cursed himself as he walked over to Beth's. He still couldn't put his finger on why he had agreed to play at that dive three blocks over. He had never liked the crowd there and everything was overpriced, but the way her face had lit up when he said yes had been stuck in his head all week. He didn't want to see what it would've looked like if he told her no. Rick kept asking about her when Daryl stopped by for a drink in between his shift at the factory and going home. "She's definitely cute." Daryl had nodded. "Think she likes you." He had shrugged. "When are you gonna call her? Wonder if she goes for older guys. How long's it been since you got some anyhow?" Rick had made fun of the way Daryl ducked his questions and then finally started bitching about his ex-wife instead.

As he walked up the cracked sidewalk he could see her in the window. Her hair was down and she spun around the room a little bit. He tried not to think about the way her shorts were just a little too short or the way her shirt climbed up her stomach when she raised her arms. He wondered what music she had on, if it was something they were going to play. He told himself to look away, but she had already caught sight of him. Beth turned and looked right at him. He prayed that he was far enough away that she couldn't see the want in his eyes, in his hands, in his whole body. Daryl nodded his hello and she turned to let him in.

He was still trying to adjust to the fact that he liked being around her. When she brushed against his arm in the narrow stairway he was able to swallow down the feeling of panic that rose up into his throat. He noticed that he didn't completely freeze up when she asked him a direct question. She didn't twist up everything inside him and leave him feeling stunted and alone. Being near her was easy, almost comfortable. Sitting across from her he found himself staring every now and then, trying to pinpoint what it was about her that let him feel at ease. The list of songs he had given her was short. Beth had already known three of the four. They ran through them twice and he still hadn't narrowed down what it could be. When she stopped singing he ran out of reasons to look at her. Daryl dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I think we should close with that Foo Fighters song. You sure you don't wanna sing at all?"

"You got a better voice." He shook his head and tuned his guitar back up. "Definitely close with that one though. I don't wanna have to change the tuning back again."

He shifted a little under her gaze, it felt like she could see into him. He zipped up the guitar case and let out the breath he had been holding in when she finally got up and opened the refrigerator.

"I don't have any beer, do you want a soda or something?"

Daryl groaned when he saw the clock on the microwave, time moved too quickly with her. "Can't. I gotta get going."

Beth cocked her head, "Do you work nights? You always head out so early."

He swallowed against the dryness of his throat. "Nah, usually work day shifts."

"Oh."

He knew she wanted more from him, he could see it in the way she angled her body and raised her eyebrows. He wished more was easier to give.

Beth watched him move his weight from one foot to the other, like he was weighing his options on his shoulders. She couldn't take how uncomfortable he looked, she had to give him an out. "Well, you wanna meet me there tomorrow?"

"Sure. Nine alright?"

It wasn't hard for him to spot her. Her blond hair curled in waves around her shoulders and he could see the sparkle of nervous excitement in her eyes despite the dim light. She was standing by a table where Maggie, Glenn, and Rick were sitting. Beth was playing with that ring on her thumb again, it bothered him that no one had gotten her a drink. He adjusted the guitar strap across his chest and signaled to the bartender for two beers. There was a guy on stage playing some whiny version of a song Daryl didn't know. It didn't seem like anyone was paying attention.

Beth smiled when she saw him walking over. He nodded at her, he didn't know what else to do. Daryl ignored her when she tried to pay him for her beer.

"I signed us in. We are up after this guy. I was getting worried you weren't coming." She picked at the label on the bottle.

"I wouldn'ta stood you up."

They bantered back and forth with Rick and ignored Maggie and Glenn making out. Everyone clapped for the kid onstage even though they hadn't really been listening. Beth took a deep breath and rested her hand on his forearm, he steadied himself with a deep breath instead of jerking away.

"Ready?"

He nodded and followed her to the small stage. Beth pulled one stool closer to the microphone and he set his off to the side. Maggie smiled and whooped as Beth made their awkward introduction and started singing. They sounded good together, Daryl seemed to play off Beth's presence. He didn't look out of place playing the broken chords of 'Stay' or when he kept his eyes locked on her when she sang that Natalie Merchant song. Daryl didn't notice that Maggie spent most of the time watching him while he watched her little sister. He relaxed when they went into 'Under the Bridge' and even gave a small wave in the middle of changing the tuning of his guitar when Beth asked for a round of applause before their last song.

Daryl had always liked playing guitar, it had given him a reason to be around people but just a little bit separated from them at the same time. If a room got too tense he could drown it out with whatever chords his hands put together and hide behind the beat up body of his Yamaha acoustic. But Beth started singing about waiting for him. She was asking him to waste away with her. She sang about things feeling real and being good and asked him not to stop. He knew she was singing to him. Every word was so real and clear in his ears. Daryl had never felt so connected to anything in his life as he did to this girl standing in front of him. He didn't mean to cut her off at the last bridge but he needed her to know that something was happening to him right there on that rickety stage. He realized what he couldn't figure out the night before, there wasn't going to be one thing to pinpoint about her, it was just her. He cleared his throat and caught her eye when he dropped the tempo where it should have picked up. She held his stare and let his low, rasping voice take over for hers,

"And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when."


	5. Doo Wop (That Thing)

The high that Beth had gotten from being onstage with Daryl had clung to her all weekend almost as strongly as it had hit her. There had been something between them when he changed up the end of the last song, she had seen it in his eyes and his voice was practically screaming it to her. She hadn't ever had a connection like that with anyone, it felt like they were the only two people on earth. She could still feel the charged air between them while the next act was setting up and it was still there when he chewed his lip and mumbled to her that she had done a good job. He hadn't stayed longer than ten minutes after they finished. She barely got to say goodbye as he hurriedly paid their small tab and took off in his truck. She didn't stay much longer after that. She texted him Sunday, inviting him to Maggie's for dinner. He didn't answer until after she was already in bed. It was nothing more than a short apology. She wondered if the way he looked at her had all been in her head.

Beth pulled out the map that the guidance counselor had given her and tried, for the third time, to figure out where her class was. It still wasn't making any sense. She was so engrossed with trying to figure out where she was supposed to be that she slammed into the body coming out of the elevator she had been trying to get in.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking."

"It's alright no big deal," She felt a hand on her arm, "Hey… I think I saw you the other night. You played at Hook's?"

She looked up to find a slightly familiar face. It took her a minute to place it. "Oh! You played right before us!"

He laughed a little, "Yeah, I didn't think anyone was paying attention. I'm surprised you remember me. You were great." He shoved his hand out in front of her, "I'm Zach."

"Beth."

"Where are you heading, maybe I can point you in the right direction?" He took the map from her hand.

Zach was going to the same class as she was. He told her this was the only community college with both a music and teaching program, she already knew that. They sat next to each other through the boring lecture about not plagiarizing and stared at a pie chart showing what made up their final grades. She was completely underwhelmed by the whole experience. As she was packing up her things Zach turned to her and held out a phone. It was hers.

"I programmed my number in. We should play together sometime. There's some newer stuff out that would really showcase your voice better." He let his fingers brush against hers when she took her cell back. "Maybe we could hang out sometime, practice a few?"

"Maybe."

He walked her to the parking lot and invited her for coffee. He talked about songs her wanted to play and how his father bought the new stereo she had heard in his car. Zach told her she needed to be more current if she wanted people to notice her. The place they had gone to offered overstuffed armchairs and purposely weathered tables. He said he loved it there. Her coffee cost four eighty five. He didn't offer to pay.

She hadn't expected Daryl to be sitting on her front steps when she got home. She also hadn't expected the butterflies that popped up in her stomach when he gave her one of those half-smiles. He looked tired, even more so than usual. "Hey stranger." She sat down beside him and dropped her bag between her feet. He shifted a little but didn't move away. "How are you?"

He shrugged and played with the frayed knee of his jeans. "Just got off work. Thought you might be here."

"I just had my first class."

He nodded. It seemed like he couldn't sit still. Beth desperately wanted to lay her hand on his bouncing knee.

"We should do that sometime though."

She knit her brow in confusion. "Do what?"

Daryl looked up at her for a second before he dropped his eyes again. She knew she hadn't made it up, there was something there.

"Have dinner."


	6. I Try

Maggie wouldn't stop asking about school the whole next day. There were only two classes. It wasn't like she had a roommate to dish on or crappy cafeteria food to complain about, so she told Maggie about her professors, trying to find the classrooms, and meeting Zach. She didn't tell her about Daryl's awkward way of asking her out, even though that was the only thing that had happened all week to make her smile.

"Oh and you two can play shows together!" The excitement radiating off her sister about a guy she didn't even like was making her uneasy.

Beth was unsure how long Maggie had been going on but that one sentence caught her attention.

"I like playing with Daryl."

"Okay, but if you're dating Zach…"

"I'm not dating him! I just met him and anyway, I don't even really like him." Beth sighed, "Plus Daryl is a way better musician."

"You do know Daryl's almost ten years older than you. He's got a lot of other stuff going on." Maggie tried to make her voice sound concerned, "I don't want you to miss out on anything."

Over the years Beth had gotten really good at tuning out things she didn't want to hear so she just turned Maggie's voice off in her head. Things never made sense to Maggie the same way they did to Beth.

Rick brought his son over for dinner on Wednesday. They grilled out in the small backyard and Beth could feel something missing. When Daryl showed up she tried to pull back on the smile that spread across her face. He followed her into Maggie's kitchen for a plate. There was nothing to do but shake her head when he started eating the potato salad before she could hand him fork.

"This wasn't what I had in mind when you said we should have dinner."

He felt his face heat up and took the fork she was holding. It wasn't what he had pictured their next meeting being either, but he didn't want to pass up any opportunity to be around her, even if it meant being around other people too. "I thought…"

"I'm teasing, Daryl. I'm glad you came." She wanted to say she had missed him.

He didn't want to say how hard it had been to stay away from her, even if it was just for a few days.

They went back outside and he complained that Glenn was cooking with propane and not charcoal, but ate two burgers anyway. Beth made a point to spend time with Rick and Carl and not hang all over Daryl the whole time. She could feel his eyes tracking her while she kicked a soccer ball around in the grass. She was trying so hard not to let Maggie catch her looking at him that she didn't realize Maggie was watching Daryl. She watched the way his eyes followed her little sister's movements. She watched the beginning of a smile tug on his mouth when Beth laughed. Maggie had never seen Daryl like this before, she had always pictured him as a loner on the outskirts of their small group. She started to realize that maybe she was wrong about him. She also realized she had never seen Beth like this before.

Her sister had always had a bit of a disconnect with the world around her, she always seemed content to be in her own little world but all of a sudden it seemed like someone had been able to to reach through to her and plant her feet on the ground. It was hard to say the exact things that made Maggie think that. Maybe it was in the way Beth took care of her place, maybe it was that she didn't seem to need reminders to do the daily things that needed to be done, maybe it was because she didn't have that far off look in her eyes as often as she used to. Maggie wasn't sure, but she thought she knew who to pin it on. So when Daryl mentioned to Beth about some songs he wanted her to hear and she led him upstairs, Maggie didn't say a word.

They stood in the living room. There were fewer boxes, it was starting to look like she really lived there. Daryl reminded himself not to look into the open bedroom, he watched her open her laptop and pull up a playlist.

"I meant what I said." He caught the curious look she gave him and cursed himself for having half conversations in his head. "About going out, sometime. If you want."

Beth smiled at him, she could see his nerves flaring up. She watched him take a guitar pick from his pocket and turn it over and over between his fingers. "I do. I like this too, though." The way he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth makes her want to pull it into hers. "What about Maggie and Glenn?"

"Don't wanna go out with them."

"You know what I mean."

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. You think it matters?"

Beth looked up him. She pushed aside his gruff exterior, how defensive he could be, the way he stood with his arms crossed on his chest, his worn clothes and tired eyes. She saw how he walked her home that first night, not leaving until he knew she was safe. She saw how unsure he could be of himself, the way he hardly ever made direct eye contact, or any other contact. She saw how he went out of his way to make her happy, helping her with the apartment, playing that show. She saw how he made her notice all these things, things she had never seen in anyone else.

"No, not to me."


	7. Something To Talk About

She heard a car idling outside and had to force herself to sit still. She didn't want to let it show that she had been ready to go for nearly an hour even though he pulled up right when he said he would. When she heard the engine turn off and the door slam closed she went to the window. Daryl was there, standing caught in some internal limbo that showed itself between his truck and the sidewalk. He shifted back and forth from his toes to his heels a few times before raising his hand in greeting. He didn't go to knock or ring the bell. Beth watched him, he wore a dark button down shirt and a clean pair of jeans, his hair was still in his eyes but she could see it was clean. She knew he could see her in the window, that he could make out the lacy off-the-shoulder shirt she had on. She knew he could see her half up hair and barely there make-up. She knew this because earlier in the day she had Maggie stand in the window while she went out to the sidewalk, where he usually stood, and looked up.

Beth waved back and he moved to meet her.

They didn't talk much, she could tell he was nervous. He told her to choose the music. Beth turned it to the station he had on the last time they drove together. "So, where are we going?"

Daryl shifted in the seat and glanced over at her. He bent over, chest close to the steering wheel, and looked out the front window at the setting sun. "Couple towns over, not too far."

"You gonna tell me what we're doing? Or do I have to guess?" She hoped he could pick up on the teasing tone in her voice.

"Can try guessing if you want." He shot a small grin her way.

"You're bringing me to the drive-in!" Beth sat up straight in her seat, "I've never been before!" He looked over at her while they waited and saw the spark of excitement she hadn't tried to hide from him, she was looking around at the other cars lining up in front of the screen. "There aren't any speakers?"

"Nah, not anymore. You go by the radio station."

He parked the truck and set out a blanket over the rusted bed. They went to the concession stand and Daryl got them slices of pizza and popcorn. They sat close enough that their legs were touching. Daryl sent her a sideways smirk when the movie started and she spoke along with the opening scene.

"Dudes and dudettes, major league butt kicking is back in town!"

She finally opened the box of raisinettes she had asked him for when he started the car for the drive home. He drove with the windows down, Beth let her hair blow in the warm night air. They listened to that same radio station and everything just felt good, like it should be just like it was right there and then. Daryl would never admit, to her or himself, how many times he actually looked over at her sitting in the passenger seat. Her hair whipping around her face, every now and then sticking to her lipgloss. One hand making wave patterns out the window and the other resting on top of his on the gearshift. He swore he would memorize every song that she hummed along to, every scene in that movie that made her smile, every time she looked at him and smiled. He parked in front of her house and let the car idle for a minute before he quietly offered to walk her to the door. He forced a breath out through his nose when she laced their hands together for the short walk.

"I can't believe they were playing that. How did you know I liked it?"

Daryl cleared his throat, "That shirt, you had it on… that morning."

"Impressive. Well, you better start thinking about how to top that. I mean, pizza and ninja turtles is setting pretty high standards for yourself."

He looked at her through his hair. "What if that's the best I got?" He was trying to keep it light but Beth could see a silver doubt poking out from underneath that first translucent layer of skin.

"Then I'd say it's a good thing that was the best date I've ever been on." She watched the corners of his mouth turn up just a little. "You're still coming over tomorrow to work out another set?"

"Mmhmm. Right after work alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be back from school by then."

Neither of them noticed Maggie's curtain pull back.

Beth squeezed his hand before letting go, "I had a great time tonight, Daryl. Thank you."

He shoved his hands in his pocket, glanced up at her, and quickly nodded. "Me too." He ducked his head back down and opened his eyes in surprise when she pressed her lips against his. He stood frozen there for a moment before moving to kiss her back. His hands finally moved from playing with the guitar pick in his pocket to her, one in her hair and the other awkwardly holding her elbow. Daryl had never really liked kissing but he decided right then and there he could live in this moment for the rest of his life.

Beth pulled away first. She hadn't wanted to but this was where she wanted this memory to end, romantically on her front steps. She could've stood there all night, pressed up against his strong chest, feeling the way he went from holding his breath to kissing her back. She could've invited him up and tangled her body with his between the sheets she had washed just in case. When Beth stood in the front window of her apartment and waved to him before he turned to get back in the truck she knew that they would have time to do those things. She could see it in the small smile that had stayed on his face as he drove away and she could feel it in the way she finally felt like she was in the right place.


	8. Dumb

Daryl brought his guitar to work hoping to save some time wherever he could. He didn't like to leave it in the cab of the truck but it would mean he could spend a few more minutes at her house later. He tried to conceal the high that he was still riding out from the night before. More for his own good than anyone else's, no one at work really talked to him so it wasn't that hard to do. The mindless repetition of using the metal press gave him ample time to run over every detail, to replay every moment of doubt he had. The day dragged by more slowly than he ever thought it could. He read Beth's text on his lunch break, saying that Maggie was making dinner and he should stay after they practiced if he wanted to. The second one said she wanted him to. He tried not to think about how happy he was to be included.

Daryl didn't want to think about how quickly he made it back to his truck when his shift ended or how he made sure to drive the route to her house that had the least amount of lights. He made himself wait outside and wave to her from the sidewalk. He couldn't help the heat that came up his neck when she kissed him as he walked into the stairwell, his fingers tangled in her hair all on their own. Running through their short set was easy to do. Beth knew the songs and he had practiced the couple she had picked out. There was no guilt in letting his eyes rest on her. He smiled at her when she caught him looking, she smiled back. Her hand reached out to his every now and then and he didn't have to fight much to stay still. He told her work was alright but didn't trust himself to say much more than that. She told him about her day, going to class, the weird girl who asked her if the cafeteria sold food, and popped open a beer for each of them while they waited for her sister and Glenn. He listened to everything she said and watched the way her face reacted to each anecdote.

They sat out on the front porch and Daryl couldn't help but wish that this was his everyday instead of just one day he knew he would always remember. He memorized the color of the sky as the sun started to melt into the horizon and the way Maggie's tag sale patio set dug into his back. He let his fingers run over the ragged edges of the bottle cap he had taken off the counter as he watched Beth play simple scales on his guitar. When Maggie called them he took the guitar and helped her up. Daryl didn't let go of her hand once she was standing. She kissed him before they went inside.

They ate overcooked spaghetti and dry meatballs. They laughed. It was the first time Daryl sat down to a family dinner and no one left the table crying. After dinner they drank beer but didn't yell or throw things at each other. They played a stupid card game where you had to come up with the strangest combination of things to win. Glenn beat them all, the cards all went back in the box, none of them were ripped or drenched in beer, not that his house had ever had any board games to ruin. Daryl had never thought he could fit in to this kind of picture and not feel out of place, but every time he felt himself pulling away Beth would reach out and lay her hand on his knee or shoot him a smile to let him know he could belong there.

Maggie went into the kitchen for another round of beers and came back holding Beth's phone. "This things going off like crazy. Zach keeps texting you asking when you're going out again?"

Daryl huffed and turned to look out the window, he could feel his defenses rise back up into place as a surge of jealousy came over him.

"Yeah, he keeps bugging me about singing with him." Beth shot a glance Daryl's way as she typed back a response. "I told him I'd let him know if I was going to, he's probably trying to figure out a setlist."

He snorted and looked at her through the corner of his eye.

"He's in both my classes Daryl. What should I do? I'm gonna see him nearly everyday."

Before he could answer her the phone in her hand started ringing and she answered it right away, "Hey, Zach."

Daryl stood and shook his head. "You do whatever you want, sweetheart." His voice was so low she hardly caught his words as he walked past her out the front door, his boots fell heavy on the porch steps.

Beth hung up with Zach and made it out the door just in time to see Daryl climb into his truck with his phone pressed to his ear.

Daryl felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he tried to calm himself down. He was pacing back and forth in front of the house cursing himself for letting some punk kid make him feel so low and unwanted in the span of two minutes, for leaving himself so open to Beth that the idea of her spending time with someone other than him could cut into him so deep. He answered the call with a snarling, rough voice.

"What?"

"Mr. Dixon?"

"Yeah?"

"This is Laura, I'm out in the hall of your building, I just wanted to call you and let you know I'm leaving. I'm not going to file a complaint or anything but I can't stay, I'm sorry."

All of the fight in his chest dissipated leaving him deflated and defeated. "I'll be right there."

"I'll leave your key on the table."


	9. Undertow

All he came home to was a hacking cough coming form the bedroom and an apology note and spare key on the cluttered table. It explained about the racial slurs and how the final line was crossed with a reach for her breast and obscene oral gestures. When Daryl gathered himself enough to go in and ask what had happened he got caught in the side with the water glass that flew across the room and a garbled, "The bitch overreacted." He wasn't sure if he preferred him drunk or dying, either way his father was an asshole.

"Can't be grabbing at every nurse I get in here. How can I go to work if you chase 'em all off?"

"Don't talk to your old man like that, Daryl." Every few words are punctuated with him trying not to cough. "Might be dyin' but that don't mean you can disrespect me." He falls into a coughing fit and can barely raise his hand to wipe the spatter of blood from his lip. "Ungrateful bastard."

As he stood in the kitchen he couldn't find the energy to curse his brother for getting caught and leaving him to take care of their father, he couldn't bring himself to feel bad for that cancer ridden man laying in the bed. He pressed his fingers to the spot on his side and let the dull pain keep the image of her blond hair out of his head for a minute while he put dishes in the sink and got out the night's pills. He had been taking care of his father when Merle wasn't around for most of his life, why should it be any different now? Instead of buying him whiskey and cigarettes and praying he was being quiet enough to fly under the radar of his father's anger, Daryl was pumping him full of morphine and getting the same lectures he always had. He was just grateful that when he left the bedroom the old man couldn't follow him out.

Daryl sighed, he knew he wouldn't be able to practice with her on Fridays anymore, whether or not she still wanted to. That was the third nurse to walk out. He had gotten his father settled for the night and given him a dose of the pain meds the doctor had prescribed for him. A few months ago getting him to swallow pills felt like he was drugging the man instead of helping him, but he had been sleeping more and more lately anyway. As he turned to close the door Daryl knew his ribs were going to have a decent bruise from where the glass had hit him.

The phone rang.

He picked up on the third ring. "An inmate trying to contact you. Would you like to accept the call?" He said yes and waited for the line to click over.

"Little brother." The greeting is gruff and dragged out. "How's life on the outside?"

Daryl moved the pillow and sheet from his makeshift bed on the couch, he sighed as he flopped down onto the old piece of furniture, "Merle."

"Ain't gonna ask how I'm holding up? If my ass is still tight as a schoolgirl's?"

"You been there enough times to know about holdin' on to your soap." Daryl chewed on his thumbnail, talking to Merle was like being dragged back in time fifteen years. The couch, the apartment…even his skin felt wrong, out of place as soon as he called him that, little brother.

Merle lets out a snort through the static connection. "Gettin' your dick wet with that new piece of ass you got? Ain't gonna lie, the old man says your floatin' around in some puppy dog love cloud."

"The fuck you talkin' about?" Daryl could feel his chest tighten.

"I talked to him earlier, nurse lady was there. Told me about what happened with one of those broads, how you were out chasing some tail instead of takin' care of him. Didn't sound right if you ask me."

"Never asked you how it sounded."

"Didn't hafta. Said you got people in and outta there all day, you're never around. That true?"

Daryl could feel that putrid bubble of guilt rise up in chest.

"Little brother, you gotta tell me. You haven't been doin' right by him have you? Lettin' strangers do the dirty work while you're out living the high life? Lettin' his check pay the rent?"

"It ain't like that, Merle!" His voice didn't come out as strong as he wanted it to, it's almost more of a whine than the growl he'd intended it to be.

"He raised you. Best not forget that."

Daryl huffed out a breath, "Whatta bang up job he did."

"Just cause he never brought you to Disney Land don't mean he ain't your daddy." Merle didn't wait for an answer. "He's our daddy and you're supposed to be takin' care of him. I'd be doin' it if I was there."

"You've never been here. Don't go makin' it out like you always took care of everything. I'm doing my best tryin' to figure all this shit out on my own."

"All I'm saying is you gotta step up your game, little brother. Take care of family. Your best gotta be better."

The phone beeped and said they had a minute left. Daryl could feel his body vibrating in a twisted mess of embarrassment, guilt, and anger.

"Ain't my fault he's sick."

"No, but it still ain't right to leave him alone with a bunch of strangers traipsing around. You gotta be there, Daryl. No pussyin' out from this one."

He sighed again, "I know I'm tryin'. It ain't easy though… being around him all damn d…"

The phone clicked off and Daryl was left with a dial tone to vent to.

He wanted to hit something, but settled for slamming the phone into it's cradle. He looked around, the apartment was a mess and he could hear the old man rattling in the back bedroom. Why had he ever thought he could get out of this? What had he planned on doing, keeping all of this from her? Bringing her into it? Hiding away in her perfect little apartment until everything was quiet?

"Fuck."

The only thing he had enough energy to do was collapse down onto his shitty couch in his shitty makeshift bedroom. The only thing he wanted to do was call her up and let her pull him away from his mess of a life. He didn't think about it for too long, he was too mad at himself to indulge in wanting her. For reacting the way he did to that kid asking her out, for not saying goodbye or explaining why he left, for coming home and being nothing but a gofer for his miserable old man who never once had a good thing to say. He was always shit at saying no to that bastard, even after everything he'd been through with him. Even laying in bed hacking up his own two lungs Will Dixon's got Daryl on a tight leash. He's been left starving at the end of that chain for so long that he can't imagine having anything else.


	10. The Middle

Beth hated that she knew how long it had been since she talked to him. She hated knowing that he left three days and six hours ago while she was on the phone. She hated knowing how hurt and angry his blue eyes were in the short moment he looked at her. She hated that she didn't get a chance to take it away, or to kiss him goodnight.

He didn't completely fall off the face of the earth though, he answered her text message the next day, asking how everything was. His response was short, which wasn't unusual, but it seemed like he was pulling away. Or maybe not, there really wasn't much to gather from, 'yeah fine.'

She moped around in sweatpants for the rest of the weekend, upset and angrier than she thought she would be. Maggie told her 'I told you so' with a series of half-hidden, sideways glances.

Zach came up to her after class on Monday while she was playing a game on her phone.

"Hey, that was a quick good bye the other night, everything okay?" He was standing a little to close and looking at what she had up on her screen.

Beth nodded, "I was at my sister's."

"Oh. Well, are we going to work on that set? I don't mean to keep bothering you but… I'd like to know what I'm going to play. I don't want to go off the cuff, the coffee house gets a good crowd for open mic night."

"You don't want to play at Hook's?"

"Nah, that place has an old crowd. Figured you're new here, give you a taste of a better crowd. They'll love us there. People more your style."

"How do you know my style?" She didn't mean for it come out as flirtatious as it did. His eyes slowly scanned over her body and made her feel uneasy, like she had broken a promise. But she made herself push that aside. If Daryl could go around doing whatever it was he did, then why couldn't she? She shouldn't feel bad about playing out with someone from her music class. She told him she would sing with him.

They practiced in an empty classroom, she told him it would echo too much to sound good, he didn't care. He wanted her to sing acoustic versions of Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus with sloppy guitar solos shoved in the middle, she ignored the way he told her to dial it back. Singing with him wasn't fun, she didn't feel a connection and all it did was make her think of Daryl even more.

She took the bus home so she could have some time to think. Saying yes to Zach was supposed to be a jab at Daryl for storming away the other night, but it felt like it was a jab at herself. She didn't want to sing with Zach. She really didn't want to do anything with him. She wanted to spend her time with Daryl. She missed him. It had only been a few days, three and six hours, but she missed him. She missed the quiet way he said hello, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to be heard. She missed catching him stealing glances at her. She really missed kissing him and the way he would go still for a moment before he kissed her back. It made her nervous how much she wanted to see him. Daryl not being there made her feel like she was grasping for something to keep her grounded. She realized, on the thirty-seven minute bus ride, that Zach was not going to do that.

Beth's parents brought her to a balloon festival once. It was up by the mountains, with a small carnival and a bluegrass band. She had told her father that she would fly off in one. She remembered watching these useless tarps fill with air and become amazing individual works of art that could carry people off to wherever the wind wanted to take them. She used to imagine herself like that. Slowly getting filled with the air she needed and one day she could just fly away until she dropped into the life she was supposed to have. But lately it felt like something had been anchoring her down. She could feel herself filling up, her true pattern showing bright and she didn't want to float aimlessly away. She felt happy to be tethered in place that seemed to want her, with a hot flash of flame keeping her up. She didn't want that rope to be cut, not anymore.

She wanted someone to keep that flame going. Someone who could use it to help navigate the altitudes and air flows, and help her find where she needed and wanted to be. Someone who could bring her back down, grounded and safe. Someone who could look at her and see a bright, beautiful, amazing thing made of stitched together pieces and ideas and love every inch.

She texted him while she knew he was still at work. His shift didn't end for another hour.

'We're still on for Saturday, right?'

She was surprised when her phone beeped right away.

'yeah'

She smiled at his quick response. The grin spread when he sent another.

'ill try to stop by fri if i can'

After spinning around her living room for a minute, Beth answered back.

'Good, I miss you.'

Her phone was silent the rest of the night.

When she took her phone off the charger before heading out the door Tuesday morning she finally saw the message received at 2:09 am.

'me too'


	11. Roll To Me

Daryl had to call out of work Monday and Tuesday. It hadn't been easy to find another hospice nurse on such short notice. When he finally did she could only come during the day so his nights are spent caged up in the apartment, alternating between watching TV and playing guitar and doing whatever his father needs. He was tired and lonelier than he wanted to admit so when Beth texted him asking about Saturday he answered a little too quickly, trying to keep the feeling of connection alive. He didn't know what to respond with when she said she missed him.

He didn't take his lunch break when he went back to work on Wednesday and cut out early to pick Beth up from school. The idea of waiting a few more days to be with her in a crowded room left him feeling desperate and their awkward conversation of mumbled apologies for insensitivity and overreaction left him longing for another chance to see her.

He didn't hide the way one side of his mouth pulled up into a smile when she kissed him on the cheek after she climbed into the truck, he didn't notice the raised eyebrow and glare coming from the kid standing on the curb. He let himself drift away from everything else and focused only on her. The way she ate the best taco you can find in the city. The way her feet swung back and forth over the tailgate while they sat in the empty lot by where the food truck was parked. The way she kissed him and waited for him to adjust to the feeling of her lips against his. The way she didn't pull away when he froze for a second. The way she moaned when he finally kissed her back. The way she stood in the window and waved goodnight.

He had felt a pang of guilt for telling her that he would try to make Friday night, he knew it wouldn't happen. Betty, the new nurse, hurried out the door as soon as he got home. She had to leave to watch her grandson. He sat on the couch after Betty left and his father had fallen back to sleep. He didn't call or text Beth. He just sat and watched time tick by until he knew it was too late to get a hold of her.

The next day was tough. His father was in and out all day, going between asking where he was and growling at Daryl about what a crap job he was doing. Daryl was tense, he just wanted the day to go by so he could leave for while. He missed Beth and the anticipation of seeing her was leaving him anxious. The nurse's aid showed up to help him change the sheets and get Will cleaned up. Somehow the task ended with the aid crying in the kitchen while Daryl iced his eye.

"Sorry, about him…" He dumped the ice in the sink, his eye would be black and blue either way.

The girl sniffled as she went to the door, "They told me people can have really bad mood swings at the… when it's… before…"

Daryl cut her off, he had to fight to keep his voice gentle, and saved her from struggling not to offend him, "I know he's dyin', he's always been an asshole though."

He hadn't planned on the girl leaving early and was left having to choose who to stand up.


	12. Creep

He was never late on Saturday nights. Every time they had played together in their shitty dive bar he was there right after her, so the fact that it was nine fifteen and his truck wasn't even in the parking lot left her worried. Beth knew that things were still a little tense between them but she didn't think he would actually stand her up, even though he had the night before. She was frantically running through things in her head trying to put together an acapella set when the familiar, too loud sound of his truck filled her ears.

"Where were you? I was getting worried!" Daryl pushed past her and slammed his door shut. His boots hit the pavement and he struggled to stay calm. All he could process was one wave of guilt after another, for not calling her last night, for being mad she had friends, for leaving his father alone.

He flinched violently when she grabbed his arm, he was on edge and the contact was too much for him.

"Just because you're mad at me doesn't mean you can ignore me! Answer me, Daryl!"

Before Beth could move he had her pinned against the side of the truck. She looked up at his face and saw his left eye was starting to swell. "I was fuckin' busy. I ain't answerin' your questions. And I don't give a shit about that punk ass kid!" He banged his hand on the side panel and then spun away from her and into the bar.

When she found him again he was downing shots.

Daryl was trashed before they stepped on stage. She had seen him do several shots of whiskey while the act before them finished up and guessed he had had more when she wasn't looking. He almost knocked over her mic stand with the neck of his guitar and tripped as he stepped up on stage. He apologized too loudly and his slurred words echoed into the microphone. They stumbled through their set. His usually impeccable playing was sloppy, his timing was completely shot and there was little she could do to compensate. Beth jumped from her stool and made her rounds apologizing to the people who had stayed. She ignored the glare from Maggie and the sympathetic grin from Glenn. When she got back to the front of the bar and saw him nursing a beer she couldn't contain the anger and embarrassment coursing through her.

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

He didn't even turn around, all he could think about was leaving the house and ruining the little bit of time he had with her.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do here."

He didn't know either so he downed the rest of the beer.

"I'm not dealing with this, Daryl!" He tried to duck away from her and nearly toppled off the barstool. Beth glared at him, she grabbed his car keys off the bar and left. She drove the truck around the block a few times before parking back in front of the bar. Daryl was outside doubled over, emptying his stomach onto the sidewalk. She watched as he turned around and slammed his fist into the rough, brick exterior of the building and the next thing she knew she was beside him pulling on his elbow to lead him to the truck.

She was grateful that Maggie had pointed out his apartment building because he wasn't much help slumped over in the passenger seat with his forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window. The mailbox in the lobby said "W. Dixon" on the slot marked 3A. She had a hard time figuring out which key was the right one, he had too many on his key ring. He stood up a little straighter when he finally processed where she had brought him.

"Can't go in there. You gotta go." He stumbled a bit when he reached for her.

"I'm just gonna make sure you're alright. Turn on a light for you."

He swallowed down the sick feeling and focused on her throwing his own words back at him. If he wasn't so drunk he would've smirked at her, he also would've had to fight away the feeling of being impossibly small. He wasn't used to having someone make sure he was alright.

She looked around the small apartment. It's cluttered, but not dirty. There was too much furniture, like someone had tried to cram two lives into the space of one. The couch was made up into a bed with cheap, low thread count sheets and a flat pillow. The way Daryl staggered across the room and collapsed down onto it let her know it was his. She helped him with his boots and draped one of the blankets over him. She was on her way to the kitchen to find a glass and some ibuprofen when the line of pill bottles on the counter made her stomach drop. All the labels said William and she finally realized that cough she heard wasn't coming from next door.

The bedroom was dark and smelled like a hospital. It felt like her grandmother's room at the nursing home, that same, almost erie, quiet punctuated with the rasp of a body giving out and the resignation of a soul slipping away. Beth held back the tears at the onslaught of memories and finally understanding why Daryl always headed home early. She let the door click closed behind her.

She busied herself with cleaning up the kitchen and then moved on to the bathroom, by the time she heard a rough voice calling Daryl's name the dishes were done and the floor was swept. It was after midnight. She went into the room with a glass of water.

"Another nurse? Punk ass kid can't even help me die." His breathing was shallow and slow and every few words were interrupted by coughs.

"I'm not a nurse, I'm Beth. Daryl's… g…"

"The new piece of ass? You're the one who's got him skippin' out on his old man?"

Beth watched him squint as he tried to look her over in the dark room.

"Little young, ain't ya?"

She didn't have response.

"Don't matter. He ain't worth your time anyhow."

She still didn't have a response. The way he was talking, the low gruff voice and harsh breaths, the words he used to describe Daryl, the way he leered at her from his support of pillows, everything about him made her uncomfortable.

"Ain't worth shit, that one."

She left the glass on the table and shut the door behind her. This was nothing like her grandmother's room. There were no mumbled thank you's or I love you's. There was no promise of things being alright or reassurances that it was the way things happened. That they would all be alright. When Beth settled down into the battered recliner and looked over at Daryl snoring lightly on the couch she tried to picture how he had been able to cope with this on his own. His eye was a little swollen and beginning to bruise and she noticed the way he curled into himself as he slept. She grabbed a blanket from the pile she had folded and let her eyes drift closed.


	13. Down In A Hole

Daryl was still passed out on the couch when Beth moved from the chair she had slept in to open the door for the hospice aid. She followed the older woman around for bit, asking her questions and trying to get an understanding of why he hadn't told her anything, before making sure it was okay for her and Daryl to leave. All the woman, Betty, had to say was that he needed someone to be there for him. His head was pounding when she gently woke him up and ushered him out the door, reassuring him that yes, Betty was there and his father was sleeping, and into the passenger side of his truck. He obediently followed her up the stairs to her place and sat at the table while she made coffee.

He didn't say anything aside from a mumbled thanks when she pushed a glass of water and bottle painkillers at him. His eyes were bloodshot, the left one was a sickly mix of purple and blue, and his hair was a greasy mess. Beth didn't even want to acknowledge the smell or the stains on his pants that she knew were where vomit had splashed back up on him from in front of the bar. She sighed as she grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom.

"You get in that shower and wash. You stink. And I'm still kinda mad at you."

Daryl nodded. He was biting down hard on his lip.

"Leave your clothes, I'll throw 'em in the wash. There's a towel under the sink." She turned and closed the door behind her. Beth leaned against the door and listened to the thud of his boots hitting the floor, the rustle of clothes, and then the running water. She waited a minute before going in to grab his things.

There was a washer and dryer in the basement that her, Maggie, and Glenn shared. She put his clothes in and set the timer on her phone before heading back upstairs with a handful of random things from his pockets. Maggie was standing at the top of the stairs.

"What's he doing here? I thought you'd be done after last night."

Beth shook her head. "Did you know his dad was sick?"

Maggie cocked her head, "No, but that's no excuse."

"He's dying. Lung cancer." Beth sighed, "He's been taking care of him pretty much on his own. It's not going to be much longer. He had a hard time yesterday."

"Beth, still…"

"I know, he's in the shower. I'm gonna talk to him, I'm not just letting it go."

"Daryl?" The shower was still running when Beth opened the door, she knew the water had to have run cold already. She knocked on the door. "Daryl, that water's gotta be freezing."

Nothing. She knocked again.

"Turn the water off, Daryl."

He finally did and a minute later, opened the door. He had a towel around his waist and another draped over his shoulders. He followed her into the bedroom, still feeling a little dizzy, but most just an awful mix of embarrassed and guilty. His reactions were slower than normal and his hands had a hard time letting go of the t-shirt she gave him when she pulled the towel off his shoulders.

"I don't know why you used two bath…"

He scrambled to right the shirt in his hands but froze when she reached out to touch his back.

"Daryl…"

"Don't. "

"But what…"

"Please… don't."

Something in his voice made her stop.

He was dressed in a pair of her plaid flannel pants and the 'Take a Bite Out of Crime' shirt she sometimes slept in. The kitchen table felt too stiff so she curled up on one side of the futon and he was bent over, elbows resting on his knees, on the other end.

"It's been 'bout four months. That he's been in bed like that."

Beth didn't say much. She could hardly imagine what he'd been going through.

"Not much longer left. So… I'm supposedta just keep him comfortable. I guess." Daryl scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, what else am I gonna do? He's my dad, there ain't no one else. Those places are so expensive…"

"You shoulda told me, Daryl."

He glared at her, "What was I gonna say?" His eyes are suddenly cold and hard, "'Hey, you're cute. I kinda like you more than I ever liked anyone else. By the way I'm takin' care of my dyin' asshole of a father. Wanna come over for dinner?'" His words came out more harshly than he had intended but he had opened some floodgate he didn't know was there, next thing he knew he was standing up and pacing in front of her "Maybe we can skip out on family pasta night and head over to my place! Got morphine and an abusive sonnuvabitch father. Maybe you'll get lucky and go home with a black eye! Bastard can hardly talk, but maybe you can hear about how I killed my mom, or how I made Merle go to jail, or how I always cried when he laid into me! Wanna go? Huh? Come on, Beth, go get yer damn coat!"

He finally stopped long enough to look at her. Tears were shining on her cheeks and she had her fist in her mouth.

"He d…did that…t…to you?" She wiped at her eyes, it didn't matter though, more tears took the place of the ones she brushed away. "He gave you all th…those scars?"

Daryl froze, his body went cold and a hot rush of shame climbed up his neck. "I… I didn't mean to say… It wasn't supp… he didn't mean… I wasn't a good…"

"Daryl, he did that to you… and you're taking care of him?"

He looked down at her bright striped carpet, his voice was barely a whisper, "He's my dad…"

The next thing he felt were Beth's arms around him.


	14. Possum Kingdom

"S'after my mom… died. It got bad then."

They were sitting across from each other, she was cradling a cup of coffee in her hands. Daryl had the pocket of Beth's high water flannel pants pulled inside out and was tugging at the loose threads on the seam, looking everywhere but at her. He still felt uncomfortable with the way his breath had hitched at her touch and the way he had stood awkwardly in her embrace for longer than he had ever done before.

"I mean… he was never… it wasn't like things were… it just got…worse… after."

He got quiet then, seemed intrigued by the blue and green plaid fraying on his knee. She could see the conflicting emotions cross his face.

Beth knew what she was about to say would seem inconsequential after seeing the marks on his body, but the way he pressed his mouth into a tight line gave away the fact that he was closing himself off and it was all she could think of to give him.

"My mom hit me once. With a spoon. I swore at her." Beth caught his eye, "I felt awful after."

"Mmhmm."

"Like I would done anything to get her to take it back and not be mad at me."

Daryl felt his chest tighten with every word she spoke.

"Is that what you're doing?"

He pulled in a deep breath and dropped his head, "I dunno."

Beth didn't say anything else. Her hand moved to find his where is rested on his knee and she just sat beside him until he asked if she had more coffee.

He stayed a few more hours, they sat close together on the futon and watched a movie that had been edited for TV. Daryl muttered the actual script and Beth laughed at the ridiculous dubbing. He was relieved that they didn't have to keep talking about him. She gave him back his keys and he promised to call her later. Before he turned to go out the door, Daryl pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you."

His voice was low and his words were mumbled, but Beth heard them and pressed herself closer.

She waved to him when he turned on the sidewalk to look back at her before climbing into the cab of his truck.

The past few days had been good but emotionally draining. After learning everything that was going on with Daryl and seeing him after he got off work everyday, Beth felt guilty about agreeing to play with Zach. Daryl did nothing aside from grunt at the reminder she gave him.

She made herself warm up her voice a bit on the walk over to the coffee shop. Daryl had already told her he wasn't going to be there, which only made her feel worse. He couldn't get an aid to come on Friday's anymore, not since his father had ripped out his IV trying to grab that last one. She smiled at Maggie and Glenn from where she was adjusting the microphone stand. Playing at the coffee shop was different, the crowd was a strange mix of people. Zach was next to her, she heard him drag his stool over and turned to see he was setting up nearly in front of her.

The set was a predictable mix of Top 40 hits. Beth sang, trying to keep up with Zach's unpredictable rhythm changes but she knew it just sounded off. Maggie and Glenn went outside after she finished to bring the car from around the corner.

"Sounded pretty good, huh?" Zach appeared in front of Beth as she left the bathroom. "I knew those songs would be good for your voice."

"Yeah, it was good. Maggie's probably waiting outside…"

She went to move around him, but was stopped by his outstretched arm.

"Why don't you stay? I can bring you home later." He smirked at her, "There's some people you should meet, things we should talk about."

"I can't, I'm meeting my boyfr…"

Zach snorted and cut her off, "You mean that redneck you sang with at Hook's? Seriously, Beth?"

"Look, my sister's waiting…"

His hands grabbed onto her arms and pushed her against the wall. She turned her head to see his friend blocking the entrance to the hallway where they stood. She knew whatever was about to happen wouldn't be good. Beth stood frozen still as Zach moved closer to her.

"Zach." Her voice came out as a pleading breath instead of the firm tone she had hoped for. "Please, let go."

The next thing she knew he was moving in to kiss her and her hand was stinging from the slap she gave him.

He turned back to her with ice cold eyes and smacked her hard across her mouth just as she brought her knee up into his groin. Zach's friend came over and helped him up as Beth pushed past them and ran to the door.

She threw herself, gasping for air, into the backseat of Maggie's decade-old Toyota.

There was a decent amount of crying and yelling about police and lawyers and calling dad on the drive home. Beth was able to placate Maggie by promising to tell her if he ever came near her again. She spent the night on Maggie's couch and didn't cry until she saw the text Daryl had sent her when she was onstage.

'good luck wish i could be there'


	15. Come Out and Play

Daryl looked down at the empty place in front of him where a beer should've been. He had promised Beth he wouldn't drink before the set. After what happened last time they played it had been an easy promise to make. It had been hard enough to leave the house for their show anyway, he couldn't drag tonight out any longer than necessary. Everything seemed to be changing so quickly and Daryl couldn't tell what he was feeling about it. He looked around the bar for Beth, it was unlike her to show up last minute.

He looked over to the stage where that kid Beth knew was finishing his set. His playing was decent for a rhythm guitar but when he tried to solo every note seemed to grate against the air instead of float into it. Daryl shook his head and wondered how some people could listen to themselves enough to practice. Rick clapped a hand on Daryl's shoulder as he slid into the booth next to him. It made Daryl jump.

"I can't believe that kid showed up."

"Whadda you mean?" Daryl was only half listening as he continuously scanned the bar looking for Beth.

"Beth was supposed to play with him but he went all Chris Brown on her after their set last night. No one told you?"

Daryl's voice dropped low, "Who the fuck is Chris Brown?"

"Douchebag singer that beat up his chick."

There were several things that happened at once. Beth walked in the door and barely made eye contact with Daryl before he stood up so quickly that he knocked Rick's beer to the floor. Zach finished his set, stepped off the small stage and headed for the side door. Daryl could feel the hair on his arms stand up as all his muscles tensed.

As Daryl stalked toward the door he stopped to briefly look over the girl who had some how become everything to him. He took in the faint bruises on her arms, the slightly bruised imprint of a hand on her cheek, the small split in her bottom lip. His eyes went ice cold and he was afraid to touch her with all of the rage he felt coursing through his veins.

"Daryl…"

He'd already moved past her, all she saw was the side door swing closed.

Rick pushed by her and when the door swung open again she could see Daryl pinning Zach to the ground.

Maggie came to stand beside her while Glenn followed the action outside, they were close enough to the door that Beth could hear Daryl growling threats between slamming his fist into Zach. By the time Maggie pushed Beth through the door Rick had Daryl pushed up against the opposite building, he was still yelling and cursing at the body prone on the ground. She had to step around Zach moaning on the pavement to get to them.

His eyes were wild, there was a distance in them that she hadn't ever seen and it took him a moment to focus on her. Daryl was breathing fast and hard through his nose while his right hand opened and closed at his side, testing for any damage. "Don't think I can play right now."

She raised her eyebrow, "I don't think you can play here again."

He nodded and dropped his gaze to the ground. "Sorry…I just… Rick told me and…"

"It's okay." She glanced back over her shoulder where that kid, the one who had just left her in the hallway by the bathroom, was trying to help Zach stand up. "He deserved it."

"Are you… okay?" Suddenly all the anger in him was gone and all Beth could see was concern in his eyes.

"I'm alright. Shaken up, but alright."

He shifted a little on his feet and held his hand out to her for a moment before seeing the blood on it and pulling it back. "He didn't…"

"He tried to kiss me, I kneed him in the nuts."

Daryl nodded. He felt a little better knowing she had gotten a good hit in herself.

"Hey guys?" Glenn jogged over from the side door, "We gotta go, they said we have five minutes before they call the cops."


	16. Head Over Feet

They quickly made their way to the parking lot and headed over to Rick's. Daryl rode in Rick's car, left the truck in the lot, while Beth climbed back in the Toyota.

"He definitely broke Zach's nose. Probably a rib or two."

"His hands were a mess."

"Do you think he'll press charges?"

"Nah, then Beth would."

Beth didn't have anything to say as Maggie and Glenn talked excitedly back and forth in the front seat. All she could picture was the defeated way he looked at her, the guilt she saw in his face was eating away at her. Her heart sunk a little at the way he had taken a step toward Maggie's car as she got in and then turned to Rick's instead.

It was a short drive to the house but Rick and Daryl were already inside when they got there. They sat in the backyard, a cooler was pulled up close to the picnic table. Rick was sitting there, a beer popped open in front of him, while Daryl paced on the patio. Maggie and Glenn sat with Rick.

They drank a few beers, Rick brought up some fight he remembers Daryl getting in years ago. Bragged about how scrawny Daryl Dixon broke his hand on some kids face, left the bigger guy laid out on the ground after spearing him onto the hood of a car.

Beth watched the way Daryl sat on the edge of the group, not really looking at anyone, save for the way his eyes constantly darted to and from her face.

"Gotta get cleaned up." Daryl mumbled to no one in particular, but then looked to Beth.

"I'll help you."

She followed him into the kitchen and watched him scrub his hands clean from the drying blood. She looked over his hands, carefully ran her fingers over the rough callouses and smooth lines, his knuckles were a little banged up, swollen. His shirt was spattered with specks of blood. It wasn't as bad as she thought.

He stood at the sink, looked down at the dirty dishes soaking there. His eyes darted over to her feet. "I shoulda been there."

When Daryl glanced up at her Beth knew all he could see were the faint bruises, the violent marks she had gained in his absence.

"Beth, I'm sor…"

"Daryl." She cut him off, "I'm fine. He was a jerk, I got away. You took care of the rest."

He nodded, only half believed what she was saying, but the throbbing in his hand reenforced her words.

Daryl followed her back outside, explaining that he had to go home so the aid could go. He told her he would come back if his father was asleep.

His good bye was awkward, stilted. Beth had to step into his touch and place a kiss on his cheek. He stilled at the contact.

"Thank you." She whispered it softly, just for him to hear.

He nodded a little and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'll see you."

She stood on the sidewalk outside of Rick's fence until she couldn't see him fading in and out between the streetlights.

Maggie handed her a beer when she sat to straddle the bench.

"That was not the show we were expecting."

"No, it wasn't."

Rick brought Glenn in to get a shot, leaving the sisters outside.

"You think he overreacted?"

Beth took a sip from the bottle, "I mean… I dunno. He didn't know what had happened, he was standing up for me."

Maggie looked at her sister. Stared her right in the eye. "You love him."

Beth's eyes snapped up. It's been a few weeks, carefully dancing around the feeling that she's found what she wants. Maggie just laid it out right in front of her and she can't do anything but finally see it.

"I do."

"Don't know how he's gonna take that." It's Rick's voice behind her.

"Whadda you mean?" Maggie's tone was biting just a bit too much. Sometimes, like right then, Beth was so grateful for her sister.

"Just, don't think he's had much experience there." Rick sighs, "I mean, I don't know if he even knows how deep he's already in."

"Can't say he's not there too. He might not know it yet, but he's worse off than she is."

Her phone vibrates when they're saying goodnight. It's just after ten but feels later.

still there? hes sleeping

We're leaving now, meet me at my place?

k


End file.
